Orientalism and Me

In planning this segment of the trip, I have completley ignored my values, my sense of history and politics, and my own personal dharma. I have allowed my background, my cultural identity, and skin to control my actions in the world. But it's not too late, I just have to change my travel plans, and do what needs to be done. In proposing a whirlwind tour of all the best tourist destinations accross north and south india, I am perpetuating the idea that India is an object to be seen, consumed, and left. It comes from the history of my skin. India is fetishized by travellers who skip across it photographing it, buying it. It comes in the age after colonialism, in some ways the same thing that is happening all over the world, but in some ways very unique to India.

I took a fantastic class before I came to India called Orientalism and the Place of Literature, that explained how the idealization and fetishization of India was the cultural backdrop that enabled British colonialism here. By seeing India as a feminized storehouse of riches, we give ourselves the right to consume it. For me personally, I have seen it and presented it on this blog not as a storehouse of riches, but of spirituality and goodness. Same thing. I want to talk more about this blog in a second.

Tourism is good for the Indian economy, but it hinges upon the same social dynamics taht were built by the British. But now, it is the time for the economic and moral reveng of India--now, the tourists are powerless but rich, they become the victims of the very lessons of greed that the British taught here. In tourist destinations, the population (especially the Brahmins) make a highly lucrative life out of pulling as much money out of the pockets of white peopel as the can, and they are good at it. I'm not complaining about the money they took from me, I figured I only gave away 240 ruppees in Pushkar that I didn't use to buy something, about seven dollars. But that's the very point--by Indian standards, it's enough to eat for a family for a week. But that's probably not what the money went to. But anyway, the exchange rate makes me a rich man, and money means little to me in of itself. But every interaction is tinged with greed, and my every word is partly spoken from fear. And they know that the best way to do it is to assume the same subservient, sycophantic attitude that they had as the subject of a colonial power.

Some amount of this dynamic is inherant in my trip here, and I will not escape it while in India. But I can minimize it, and also get more out of my time here, for myself by taking my time more seriously, drastically slowing my pace and limiting the ground I cover. I fell in love with North India and it's people, even though they are all insane (because they are all insane?) when I was in Banaras; my teachers, my host family, the rich intellectual and spiritual life. And there's a lot more where that came from, and I can get it in North India. I'm sure that south India is beautiful, and it is a personal goal of mine to come back to India and do south India right, explore the hill stations in the western ghats, the abandoned beaches, Madurai and Trichy, Ramnapuram. But not this trip.
I reccomend the book "the god of small things" by arundhati roy, which I read before I came here. It takes place in Kerela, and discusses the rise of the tourist industry there, the resorts of the "backwaters" wthat have become so popular with Westerners. They grew up in the same cultural space, the same economic space, that was left vacant by the departure of the british. And if I spent my time flying past South India, I must occupy these tourist-places, albeit the budget end of them. Whatever.

Anyway, I am in Mumbai now, and although I previously [planned to spend little time in big cities, I realize now that my cultural and family background has taught me to love big beautiful cities with lots of art and culture, and Mumbai is certainly the center of all of it, past and present, in India. So I'll stay here a few days, maybe even a week, and I don't know what I'm doing yet, I'll post about that later.

But it's really important for me to talk about the Orientalist nature of this blog, right now. It's been in the back of my head this whole time, but I haven't been explicit about it. This is the first time in my life I have felt like people have been reading my words, even if it's just my parents, this is the first time I have had a regular audience. Why do you read this blog, when you did not read the other blog that John Paul and I maintained together, poetic terrorism? because you are interested in what I am doing now because I am in an exotic place, a place with all this cultural baggage and intrigue. And I've been feeding this, in fact, I've been the cause of this, by presenting India as a mystical storehouse of knowledge, a place where I have learned life changing lessons that I could not have learned at home. By idolizing hinduism and even buddhism. By talking about how beautiful the cows are. All of it feeds into this dynamic. I have been objectfying india with my experiences, and then packaging it up (commodifying it) and selling it to you in exchange for your attention, which I crave. How can I escape this orientalist point of view? I cannot. But being aware of it is the first step, and I would appriciate it if you, as my readers, could take that step with me.

I know this wasn't very articulate, but I'm tired and strung out from a lot of travel, a lot of train.
best
jed