Parting Ways

Since I was in Banaras, I have been thinking very hard about how I can make the best use of my time in India. This is extremely precious time for me, it took work and sacrifice to get here on the part of many people in my life, and this is the only time I will take off from college. In fact, it's the only large chunk of time I have had away from school since before I entered preschool. And I'm sure I will continue feeling the concequenses of this decision during my last semester at Brown after all my class has graduated and I'll be alone in my room writing a thesis.

So I have decided to part ways with the Dragons program after the end of our homestay here in Mcloed Ganj, which is this next wednesday, the 19th. I am missing two major components of the program: the meditation retriet and the Trek in the mountains of Manali. Both of these are going to be intense, beautiful experiences for the participants, which will probably be some of the highlights of the trip. However, I have thought hard about my intentions and goals in being in this place and taking this time off from school, and I realized that a major part of that was my desire to usher in some sense of adulthood through autonomous independant action in the world, to learn myself through going on a journey which has immense meaning to me and will challenge me in ways that I cannot presently imagine. Also, I just have the raw desire to see more of India, which I feel would not be fufilled by a meditation retreit and a trek.

I really want to emphasize that this decision did not arise out of dissatisfaction with the program as it has been so far. The experience that I had in Varanasi was valuable and profoundly life-changing, and there is no way that it would have been possible without the knowledge and structure of the Dragons program. I think it was vital for me to stay in one place in India for such a long time, enough to actually consider it a place to live. And the opportunities that were provided for me in Varanasi by the dragons program were amazing. The homestay experience was loving and beautiful and changed the way I think about family life in general, and gave me a fantastic introduction to the worldviews and culture that are prevalant in this part of the world. They also connected me with the best Tabla teacher in the world, which I probably did not deserve given my lack of musical talent. MOst importantly, they introduced me to Shukla-ji and provided a structure in which I could receive teachings and stories from him. He drastically changed the way I conceive of narrative, religion, morality, everything. None of this would have been possible without the dragons program, and I love them for it. Also, they have provided me with more amazing opportunities here in McLeod Ganj, including another amazing homestay who I love even more than the first.

I also really grew to like the people on the program and the leaders, and I will miss their companionship and guidance. I also deeply appriciative to the leaders for being so accomodating and supportive in me making this decision, and understanding that this decision came from a place of love and respect.

Although I made this decision in order to follow my own spirit and desires, I would be foolish and delusional to think that I was actually doing this under my own power. It's really important for me to express my gratitude to the people who are making this possible for me and supporting me through it. Primarily, this is my family. For those of you who know my parents, you know well that it is not easy for them to have their son travelling alone in India for a long time. Their decision to support me in this represents a profound trust in me, naive though I may be. I could never do this without their support, because I trust them with my life; if they did not think I could do this, I would certainly not be able to do it. Their love for me allows me to stand strong and secure in myself in the world, and I don't think I realized the full extent of this until I came here. So I will be keeping in close touch with them throughout the trip, hopefully. I will do my best.

Also, I think it's important to publicly awknoledge that I am one of the most blessed and priviliged people on the planet to be in a position where I have an opportunity to come to India, and then to do exactly what I want to do while i am here. Most people are much more confined by their economic and social position. I am in a place in my own life when I have probably the most freedom and capability to follow my own spirit. I am lucky to be a young man right now, in my body and position. I did not earn this privilige, I was born into it; in some very real ways I owe it to my parents and their parents, but I also just owe it to luck. So I will take advantage of this opportunity with mindfullness and gratitude for the privilige that it means.

So now I am facing one of the most awe-inspiring and indimidating opportunities of my life: six and a half weeks of solo travel through India. What can I say about it? I'm thrilled and excited. Here's a basic outline of what I am planning to do, but this will change. A lot. In unexpected ways. But there are some foundational concrete dates which I can give:

May 19: Take night bus to delhi
spend one night maximum (maybe not even that) in Delhi, and go to Jaipur. Spend a day or two there, probably only one, then go to Puskhar. Go from Pushkar to Mumbai, where I will spend as short a time as possible until I can get to Gokarna (perhaps via goa, but if I can avoid that maybe I will. Or maybe I'll go to Goa and have a good time for a day). From there to Cochin (Kochi) in Kerela. Maybe a trip on the backwaters of Kerela, but I didn't really plan on it; I think i'll just explore Cochin and surroundings. From there to Madurai, from Madurai to Trichy, from Trichy to Chennai, a side trip to Mamallapuram. I have a definate reservation on the Grand Trunk Express from Chennai to Delhi on April 17. Again, I will stop in Delhi for as little time as possible, and then go to Haridwar. From either Haridwar or Rishikesh I will set out for Gangotri, the head of the Ganga, which is an important goal/destination of my trip. Perhaps I will take a short guided trek to Gomouk, which is the glacier which is the headwaters of the ganga. Then back to Delhi with hopefully enough time for a daytrip to Agra, because there's some sort of obligation I have to see the Taj Mahal. I will fly back to LA on June 2, and then back to Colorado on June 3. So if anyone wants to put me up for a night in LA, you are certainly welcome. Anyway, get out a good map of India if you want, and figure out what I just said--I don't expect you actually to know all those places. I didn't know about them when I was in America.

Again, I will be carrying a cell phone the whole time, so keep in touch with me. 9816579414 Hopefully I will be able to continue blogging--I certainly will try and do it whenever I possibly can. But there will be longer stretches of emptyness than there has been in the past--I'll be on a lot of trains and busses. If you have a taste for a specific object from India, let me know--I'm willing to carry things back, and things are relatively cheap here.

Anyway, thank you all for your interest in this blog and my life, and I'm thrilled for this next stage of the adventure.
much love and respekt
jed